By Trinity Pryor
On February 14, also know as Valentine’s Day, a Thurston student had a grand promposal. Taking full advantage of the romantic day, he decided to ask his potential date to prom. The promposal itself was very sweet, but a crowded cafeteria may not be the best time or place. With that being said, an announcement later that day followed asking the student body to put in a formal written request if they want to conduct a promposal as well.
This lead to my letter that I would bravely deliver to my principal. Thankfully, Mr. Rudy said it was awesome and hilarious.
Dearest Mr. Rudy,
I am contacting you regarding the season of love and all of its festivities. As you are well aware, Prom is just around the corner. The capitalization of “Prom” shows my utmost interest in the matter. With this in mind, here lies my formal written request. I am fully prepared to give you every single detail of the proposed situation.
The time and date? February 29, 2019 12:00 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. The Location, you ask, Latitude:42.38459 N Longitude:-83.30022 W. Upon entering door 2, 200 steps forward, 100 steps right, a left turn upon 100 hall, 30 steps forward, and a stroll into the cafeteria.
You must be inquiring by now, “How will this lucky person be asked?” Don’t fret! The details are as follows:
First and foremost, I will leisurely walk into the cafeteria, ID shown as promised, and make my way toward the fourth table from the east wall. Straddled like an infant in my right hand, a single bouquet of a baker’s dozen chicken wings, skewered, lightly dipped in Nashville styled Bar-B-Que sauce. If chicken is not acceptable, a veggie burger will suffice for the veganly inclined date.
The only problem is I have yet to figure out who to ask. I will pick the lucky peer random selection. I will precisely turn around, counterclockwise, with a three and a quarter turn. Whoever my left ring finger falls upon shall accompany me on the evening of the third of May, with your approval of course. If necessary, you may conduct a thorough background check on me and my selected peer. If needed, my blood type is AB positive.
Any further inquiries, please contact me as soon as possible.
Kindest Regards, Trinity Pryor